Yes, It's Freakin' Political!
This week we bring you another installment of "Cito Says…", an update on our favorite manic-depressive: Robbie Williams, some festival news (yes, there is life after Koppi), and oodles more! Yep, music is alive and well!
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The Great Intimidation
I have never been good with celebrities. I can email, facebook, sms or even call, but the moment this person is in front of me I turn into a blabbering idiot. I don’t know what it is about their presence that intimidates me, but when celebrity enters the room, my brain walks out.
A couple of years ago I was picking up a few things in a local supermarket. Nothing interesting; just the mediocre stuff that the mediocre mass buys every day: bread and milk (and maybe a neatly wrapped chocolate promising layers of smooth milk chocolate & caramel that melts…) Uhm, back to the story: I just passed the the cleaning detergents aisle when I looked up into the face of a musician who was at that stage a national phenomena in the Afrikaans market: Dozi. Now, let’s get this straight: I’m all for your roots and that kind of thing but respectfully: Dozi is not really my thing. Nonetheless, on sighting this Zulu giant (the man is huge and this only added to the intimidation) I froze. I looked at him for a second measuring up fight vs. flight. Realizing that tackling Dozi in a supermarket would not only literally be a David/Goliath scenario, but would surely earn me some me-time in a padded cell, I did the next best thing: flight.
I turned around, made a dash for the other side of the supermarket and all the while waving my hands in the air shouted: “Where’s the cheese, I need cheese”. By now you’re probably thinking: Oh no, you didn’t! But as sure as I am that everybody forgot the celebrity and stared at me, I can tell you: I sure did! That day, I did not leave the supermarket in a straight jacket, but I think I did manage to become Dozi’s favorite non-fan: No asking for autographs, no staring at his trolley to see what Greatness buys (I can’t imagine it being bread and milk), but a record-breaking run in the opposite direction.
This incident was still fresh in my mind when another Afrikaans musician entered a shop where I was working. (Imported Italian tiles at the price of a condo in Ibiza but nonetheless, a shop). This musician had recently had a hit with a song that couldn’t have been a failure as it feeded off the patriotism of the Afrikaner who felt he doesn’t have a place in sunny Africa. Realizing that the only way I will be able to appear professional was if I were to convince myself that I do not recognize him, I pulled myself together and approached him to offer him assistance. He immediately said: “I don’t need fans now, I’m shopping.” I pretended not to hear and asked him what tiles he was looking for. He looked at me with superiority etched onto his arrogant face and said: “Nothing, I don’t need nothing”. I turned around and walked away. I did not have the guts to tell him what I was really thinking. So today, Mr Aap van As(s), courtesy of my new-found confidence inspired by the Cito piece, I want to tell you: The correct word is “anything”, your song is crap (even worse than your ability to communicate in English), and in the words of Cito: “You’re a f…” Well, just read below and you’ll get the message.
“Cito Says…”
Simply Kak’d Out!!! - Martin Cito Otto
It was probably about 10 years ago when Mick Hucknall and his band pulled in to woo our South African audiences and I was invited to see the show. A friend of mine was working for a particular cigarette brand that sponsored the Simply Red tour and he offered me a VIP-Golden-Circle ticket which included free drinks before the show, a chartered bus ride to the Dome and access to the after party at a club in Randburg. All good, I suppose, except for the fact that I was dropped off and didn’t care how or when I got home. I kind of figured I’d score some random babe at the gig who’d be willing to drop me off at home, whenever that was going to be. What can I say? I was young, rock ‘n roll and very stupid!
Anyway, it was a great evening. The free drinks, the free ride, the free show. I even enjoyed the band’s performance.
I was especially intrigued by the drummer, whom I recognized as Gota, an excellent, Japanese, acid-jazz trumpeter. He was an astounding drummer - I suppose you have to be to back Mr Hucknall. I was mesmerized by his easy-flowing beats. His nephew played lead guitar in the band; equally as good as Gota.
After the show we headed back on the bus, drank some more and arrived to a pumping after-party. I bumped into my friend’s girlfriend who was involved with the travel agents of the tour and she introduced me to the rest of her female colleagues, who were now doing their best to keep their clients happy.
Gota made his way to the snacks table where I greeted him and introduced myself. He was amazed that I recognized him as the “Acid-Jazz Gota” and invited me up to meet the rest of the band at a cordoned off area. It was just the band, Mick, my new travel agent friends and other potential groupies. The rest of the band were really cool and we chatted for ages.
I gathered up the courage to introduce myself to Mick and tell him how great he was and that my friend worked on one of his albums that was recorded here in Jozi. He was busy chatting up my friend’s babe at the time so I thought it was good timing. Needless to say he didn’t. I tapped him once on the shoulder he turned around and flat out ignored me. I tapped again and he gave me more of his back, turning completely away from me. My friend’s girlfriend was trying her best to acknowledge me but Mick had other ideas. So I did what any normal, pissed-off, pissed-up, South African musician would do. I poked my finger nice and hard into his shoulder and he finally turned around and acknowledged my existence (with an expression of disgust). Then I said,” F@%K YOU, YOU’RE A F@%KING c@#T!!!”
I turned around and headed for his band who were all chilling, oblivious to the scene. I could see in the corner of my eye that Mr Hucknall was speaking to security but they seemed to have played it down. I suppose I was a VIP hanging with the band and most importantly I was Gota’s guest!
A few minutes later everyone in the band area was up and dancing around a coffee table. I noticed that besides the band and Mick, I was the only other male. The rest were ladies who, of course, were there for Mick’s taking. As we were all drinking champagne and dancing around this table, Mick was just glaring at me across the table; not dancing. He was obviously not impressed with me being there. I didn’t care. I just danced and laughed with the ladies and the band. It was bliss. I swore Mick into the ground and got away with it!
All good things come to an end and I realized that no babe was scored by me. Luckily, my cigarette buddy offered me a lift home at about 2 in the morning.
I get home, he drives off and I discover that I’ve lost my keys. To top it off, my sister’s off for the weekend and nobody’s home. Just my dogs outside. I jump over the wall and try to break into our house. I was so pissed that I couldn’t. So, I walked around the house looking for a warm and cozy place to sleep. Nothing. All I could find was my dogs’ house. I kicked them all out, climbed in and called them all back in to sleep with me. The next morning I had to go to work without washing up!
On my way to work I thought about the night before and consoled myself. All of this was worth it. Who can top that?
I suppose Mick could. While I was sleeping with my dogs, he was up all night with groupies!
So You Wanna Be A Rock Superstar…?
I can tell you of at least 255 battle of the bands-type competitions running at the moment or soon to start. Now, although publicity and the possibility of prizes are all very exciting, there are far too many of these competitions to keep track or take notice. But when a reputable organization hosts a battle of the bands at reputable venues, and the prizes range from cash and photo shoots to instruments, a music magazine feature and a headline slot at a well-known fest, then you’ve got my undivided attention.
The Thornrose Music battle of the bands will take place weekly from the 17th September until 3 December at Cool Runnings in Fourways and The Black Dahlia in Mullet-ville. And on Saturday, 5 September the competition will be concluded with the final rock showdown at Cool Runnings.
Prizes include everything mentioned above as well as a 4 track demo recording, 100 pressed cd’s, T-shirts, tattoo sponsors, 6 month clothing sponsor and a national tour! This is any up-coming artist’s dream and could be your reality by simply sending a mail to info@thornrosemusic.co.za (subject: Thornrose Battle). Include your Bio, logo/picture, contact details and one track (not larger than 6mb. Hurry up though, entries close on 1 September.
For more info check out www.thornrosemusic.co.za.
A Breather After Koppi Madness
White Mountain Lodge, at the foot of the Giant’s Castle Nature reserve in KZN will this year once again host the annual White Mountain Folk Festival. This festival showcases not only the “softer” side of top SA rock outfits, but also folk and blues – or any other genre that can be performed acoustically.
Some of the artists confirmed to perform at the family-friendly festival this year include: Farryl Purkiss, Josie Field, Larry Amos, Gary Thomas, Laurie Levine, Cape Town’s Joshua Grierson, Andra, Barry Thomson, Flowing Water Band and Catlike Thieves. Also expect Cito’s solo debut with his talented band: The Mistakes as well as Rambling Bones (Jay Bones alter ego) and Bertie Coetzee (Zinkplaat frontman).
With the emphasis on a family festival, this event is more than just a great show, but hosts an array of activities for the whole family to join in. Abseiling, helicopter flips, paintball, fishing, hiking and a zip line across a 100m-wide gorge are only some of the activities you can join in. And if adventure is not your thing you can always visit the beer market or make use of any of the lodge’s other facilities.
The 4th White Mountain Folk Festival runs from 24th – 27th September in the picturesque Drakensberg region in KZN. Tickets range from R400 – R500 and can be purchased at Game stores (only KZN), Computicket or at the festival gate. For more info check out www.whitemountain.co.za.
Paul Andre Blom: Mover & Shaker
The term multi-talented has been abused by so many journos that the meaning of the word has become lost in media blabber. The artist who can play guitar and chopstix on the piano is multi-talented. The producer who once flipped burgers in Maccie D’s is multi-talented. Along with phrases such as: “Watch this space!” and words such as “prolific”, it has become a whole load of nothingness.
I was trying to think of truly multi-talented artists, when I came across a familiar name: Paul Andre Blom. Involved in the alternative music scene since the late eighties, this artist is so much more than just a musician. His name is carved on countless successful projects that range from film fests, website design and photographic projects to musical outfits such as Terminatryx and VOD.
Under the helm of Flamedrop Productions – Blom’s multi-media digital entertainment organization – the Celludroid Sci-Fi / Anime / Fantasy Film Festival is currently hosted at the Labia Theatre in Cape Town. This festival showcases both classic and new films, and forms part of a range of movie fests including the X-fest and the SA Horrorfest. The annual Horrorfest screens a variety of movies over the Halloween period (29 October – 5 November), and incorporate dress-ups, prizes, and live music. This year’s fest will once again feature the customary classic silent horror film accompanied by an original soundtrack performed by Terminatryx, members of Lark, K.O.B.U.S, Matthijs Van Dijk and more. The “electronically infused industrial metal band”: Terminatryx was formed in 2002 by Sonja Ruppersberg and model Christina Storm. Blom completed the picture, and with Storm’s departure in 2003, Ruppersberg and Blom continued with Sonja on vocals and Paul in charge of guitars, bass, drums, programming, keyboards and backing vocals.
For more info on Celludroid, The SA Horrorfest, X Fest, Terminatryx, Voice of Destruction, Flamedrop, K.O.B.U.S, Paul Andre Blom, Sonja Ruppersberg, or where to get your copy of the legendary 1922 vampire movie: Nosferatu with Terminatryx soundtrack visit Flamedrop Productions. From here you will find links to anything and everything you might want to know.
Snippets
- 90’s iconic rock band: Skunk Anansie will release a 15-track greatest hits album in November this year. Entitled “Smashes and Trashes” this album follows a decade after the release of Post Orgasmic Chill, and contains 3 new tracks. Check out the video for one of the new tracks: “Tear The Place Up.” Although it does seem that Skin and the boys are stuck in the nineties rock time warp, we still love it! It’s angry, loud, in your face and everything we’ve come to expect (and love) of Skunk Anasie.
- Robbie Williams has pushed his alien-hunting aside for a bit to record a brand new album. Say what you want about this paranoid, drugged-up, emotional artist but the masses love him – and so do we. After the Rudebox-dissapointment we are holding thumbs that this album: Reality Killed The Video Star, will bring us back to the Robbie we heard on previous albums. The first single: “Bodies” will be released early October and the album in November.
- Another release: Sultry singer Norah Jones will be releasing her 4th studio album in November this year. This currently untitled album is said to have a completely fresh sound compared to her previous 3 albums, as Jones worked with a new band that compromises of artists who were hand-picked for their strengths. Not that the previous sound didn’t work, and Jones has 36 million album sales to prove it.
- 35 Year old Corey Taylor, Slipknot singer and the star of every nightmare I have ever had, has offered advice on mental health to young minds in the UK. Says Taylor: “Anything you’re feeling right now, no matter how strong you feel it, it’s temporary. You have incredible lives ahead of you; you have incredible things you can accomplish. If you feel that you will have an amazing life. Do not let anything build a wall to high for you to get over it – I know that might seem very clichéd but…all of that stuff is so temporary. You can get through it, you’re stronger than you think, and you’ll always be stronger than you think.” Go Corey. Very Dr. Phil. Not very rock n roll. But we don’t mind! We love it!
You Said It, Baby!
“It’s much too late to do anything about rock & roll now ...”
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
“Whenever society gets too stifling and the rules get too complex, there’s some sort of musical explosion”
Slash (Guns 'n Roses)
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Sources:
www.mio.co.za; www.wantitall.co.za; www.facebook.com; www.streetlamp.co.za; www.news24.com; www.tonight.co.za; www.mtv.com; www.rollingstone.com; www.wikipedia.org; bandweblogs.com; www.myspace.com/skunkanansiemusic; www.whitemountain.co.za; www.robbiewilliams.com; www.thornrosemusic.co.za; www.music-news.com; www.paulblom.com; www.flamedrop.com; www.horrorfest.info; www.myspace.com/SAhorrorfest;